Road To Wrestlemania WWE Royal Rumble 2012

Road To Wrestlemania WWE Royal Rumble 2012

Well everyone, last night we began to venture off on the road to Wrestlemania. Where is the first stop on that road, the 25^th Anniversary of the Royal Rumble. I had no idea where this road was going and I was having reservations about whether or not WWE fully knows either (and to a certain extent I still have doubts) but nonetheless here we go.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am Angus, your new wrestling informant here on hubpages giving your my own personal, and let me reiterate, MY OWN PERSONAL views and results on pro wrestling. This is my first post and I felt that there is no better time to start than with the pay-per-view that holds the fastest, one-hour match of the year. (and boy was that Rumble fast) I am simply going to list the matches and talk about each one before diving into the 30-Man battle royal.

World Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match

Daniel Bryan (c) vs Big Show vs “The World’s Stronger Man” Mark Henry

Before I begin, I must admit that I was initially not a fan with where WWE was going with Daniel Bryan’s world title run. I figured they would make him a short transitional champion and make him lose to the likes of the Big Show and Mark Henry. No disrespect to Show or Henry, but I would much rather watch matches with a wrestler the caliber of Bryan. However, I can honestly say that I am really enjoying his run. This brings me to the cage match. I really enjoyed the realism to this match. Daniel Bryan is an amazing athlete and wrestler but in no way should he be dominant or having significant offense against two of the biggest guys in the company. It seemed for most of the match that Show and Henry took turns playing “Wack-a-Daniel”, which was fine. Why would they waste time trying to kill each other like they have for the past several months when they would have a much better chance beating on a man that’s less than half their size. With that being said the match was actually decent and the finish with Show holding a swinging Bryan off the size of the cage was great. Great way to open the show. Side note; I find it hilarious that now that Daniel Bryan is heel at this point that Michael Cole has no idea whether to praise him at times or keep attacking him on commentary.

Beth Phoenix (c), Natalya, and the Bellas vs Eve, Alicia Fox, Kelly Kelly, and Tamina

Not really much to say about this match. Sadly, like most WWE Divas matches, this match was randomly thrown on the card with no build up and did nothing more than to show how dominant Beth Phoenix is in a division where she wrestles the lesser amount of talent on the roster. I would love it so much if Beth had just been wrestling Tamina or Natayla. Hell, the Bellas entertain me more in the ring than Eve, Kelly, or Alicia. One thing that I can point out though is how Beth gave Natalya the cold shoulder after the victory. She didn’t embrace her in the hug after the match or even look at the woman. Maybe WWE is subtly starting something here between Pin-Up Strong, or maybe I’m giving WWE too much credit. I don’t know, we’ll see.

Kane vs John ( You Don’t Want to C Me When I’m Angry) Cena

I know that was corny but I couldn’t resist, that face he made on Monday Night Raw was AWFUL.

Now, let me start out by saying that my expectations for this match was lower than that Divas match I just talked about and didn’t even know was on the card. They have took all of the interest and momentum out of Kane’s return, they’ve done a horrible job of involving Zack Ryder, and I am absolutely done with Cena. I don’t even understand where all this “HATE” stuff is going anymore. This angle is almost making me forget that Cena is in the main event of Wrestlemania XXVIII in just two months.

Anyways, now that I got that off of my chest let me go on and say that the match wasn’t as bad as I expected. In fact, it wasn’t anything like I expected. What did I expect, well…the usual. I expected Cena, with his “newfound HATE” to unleash a fury that we have only see from Cena in one of his many last man standing which would lead to Kane complete destruction and burial. (It almost sounds like I’m describing a comic book, but no it’s pro wrestling) Instead, what I saw was the complete opposite. I saw Kane beat the living piss out of John Cena from the ring, all the way to the backstage area, ending with a tombstone on a wheelchair-bound Zack Ryder and a battered John Cena. I enjoyed it a lot. It’s great that someone is legitimately beating John Cena up, it makes him human. I honestly don’t know how Cena is going to make Kane pay for what he is done but we do know that Kane had his number and then some last night. The only thing that irks me about this is that we will have to sit through more Raw’s of Kane and Cena play Batman and the Joker at the expense of a wrestling product. Hopefully, through all this crap, something good will come out of this strange and confusing angle so we can focus on the big match at Wrestlemania.

The Funkasaurus Brodus Clay vs Drew McIntyre

This is ridiculous of me to make a page with nothing to talk about, but then again what words are there in the English Language to describe Brodus Clay, it can’t be Funky that was Flash Funk. I am at least comfortable with that fake that between Brodus and Sheamus, McIntyre has lately been losing to decent competitors. McIntyre could benefit Smackdown a lot more than he is being used. I will say this, its time for Clay to throw a monkey-wrench in that little routine of his and change it up to make his matches more appealing. Even if they are still squashes like last night, do something different to keep the fans on edge and actually want to see more of the Funkasaurus before he become stale. However, as long as Brodus keeps bringing those to dancers out with him every night, this man will be a happy man.

WWE Championship Match

CM Punk (c) vs Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero (Special Referee John Lauriniatis)

Ahhh…Good Ol’ Clown Shoes. I hope that Triple H does fire Johnny on Raw, enough is enough. I loved the match between Punk and Ziggler. I only wish Ziggler would have gotten more offense in this match but hey it was still pretty good. The focal point of the match was on whether or not Johnny Ace was really going to screw Punk or not. Obviously he wouldn’t given everything that transpired last week to close Raw. It was so goofy seeing him run in to count with the referee at the end of the match, like that’s supposed to put him in good graces with Triple H or something. He didn’t even make the full three count, can this man do ANYTHING right? I like to tell myself that Lauriniatis isn’t really as bad as he looks, he just plays the role of jackass better than any other upright walking citizens. Anyways, great little match by ZigZag and Punkster. Ziggler getting the little amount of offense in the match did nothing but enhance my notion that he would be appearing in the Rumble later in the night. (SPOILER ALERT: He did)

The 30-Man Royal Rumble Match for the Championship Shot at Wrestlemania 28

This Rumble sure felt like it went by quickly. The only one significant null point in the match was where guys like Jinder Mahal were in the ring. Since I obviously won’t describe the whole hour-plus long match, I’ll just hit on the moments that were interesting to me. The first thing that I need to mention is that Ricardo Rodriguez entrance imitating Alberto Del Rio was classic. The spot where Foley and Santino were fight with the Cobra and Mr. Socko was hilarious as well, though the heat that Santino got for eliminating Ricardo was odd. Since when did Ricardo become so loved by the fans? The Kofi Kingston spot where he walked around the ring on his hands to avoid being eliminated was creative as hell. Since I mentioned him earlier I say something else about him, why did it take Jinder Mahal SOOOO….long to get in the ring. I don’t get what WWE sees in him at all. This just reminded me of the hilarity that ensued when Ezekiel clotheslined him and the fans started chanting Ahmed Johnson at him. The announcers appearing in the Rumble was some classic stuff too though I felt a little cheated that all three announcers were in the Rumble and those spots could have been used to get other talents some exposer. Then again, would anyone really buy that Heath Slater could win the Royal Rumble.

Speaking of the announcers, Michael Cole getting his beat up by Kharma was a pleasant surprise. The way that Dolph Ziggler sold her finish was great, too. Maybe Kharma returning will add something to the WWE’s women’s division that is on life support at this point. The pops for Randy Orton and Sheamus were ridiculous, of course being in his hometown had something to do with his. Oddly enough the Road Dogg got a bigger reaction than over have the roster. Speaking of reactions, Wade Barrett was greeted with otter silence upon his entrance and I’m guessing horrible theme song that he now uses has something to do with it.

The ending with Jericho and Sheamus was fine by me. Lots of fans have been expressing their anger for Sheamus winning the Rumble, but to me that is what should have happened. WWE is probably going to have Sheamus wrestle Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania. (Again, yeah remember last year’s dark match, you shouldn’t because it was barely mentioned) WWE needs to get the most out of Daniel’s title win, Sheamus, and the world title. Jericho winning does nothing but benefit his inevitable fued with Punk. This means getting two people who are already over, more over. They need to use the Rumble to help build other matches. Jericho’s loss shows me something different. It shows me poor planning by WWE. They had been milking Jericho’s silence for weeks, why would they have him speak last Monday if they KNEW they weren’t going to pull the trigger on a Rumble victory. In no way was anything Jericho did “World Ending” as he said it would be Monday. If Jericho coming back was a way for WWE piss off the fans by not giving them what they want to see, then they have accomplished that in spades. Regarding Sheamus, I’m happy for him and hopes that this win will lead to a REAL title reign for him after Wrestlemania.

Well that’s it for the Rumble. I’ll be back later this week with more rants about the different events in the world of professional wrestling. Hopefully when I do return Lauriniatis will be out of a job. Share your thoughts below!